We are so blessed to have such beautiful Autumn days here in Western Sydney. Low 20s again this week with loads of sunshine and cool nights. Our fireplace has not been used very much so far which is good because it helps us conserve our firewood stockpile.
We were supposed to have a 'rain event' in the second half of the past week but it was a no show here. We had a little rain overnight but all Saturday sports went ahead! (I am my children's BIGGEST fan!!)
I think I have found the root cause. Trying. To. Do. It. All. And it isn't what you think. It's not the "supermum' label that has grabbed me by the throat. In fact, I am not sure what the actual label or the best label would be.
So what is it?
For me it is - becoming increasingly aware of our lack of care for the environment in our home - the constant worry of the amount of chemicals and additives etc we are exposed to - the worry of developing cancer or one of my children or Hubby developing cancer - trying to cook from scratch and eliminate sugar and additives etc - living on one income and not making ends meet - finding it hard to get back into the work force doing what I love rather than settling for second best - knowing too well the unfairness of the welfare system in this country - toxic family members - toxic and competitive parents in my children's sports teams - constant worry about the future - seeing the stress school is putting on my kids - finding lights left on, food left to waste in lunchboxes, yelling at kids to turn the shower off - the constant and nagging inner talk that I am not doing it all and certainly not doing it right. (Even just typing out that list has left me feeling giddy.) All of this have given rise to anxiety.
What's next then? To be kind to myself. To only do what needs to be done for the household to function smoothly. Rest. Flood my body and mind with nourishment. When I catch myself getting caught up in the social media circus of all the things I should be doing, to switch it off and walk away. To draw my husband and children in closer. To reclaim the weird and wonderful individual I am.
Until next time,